Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
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Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize