just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize