i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize