my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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