It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
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James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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