so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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