i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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