you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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