It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize