There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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