I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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