I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i drank out of a bidet.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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