My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize