Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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