textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize