I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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