the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize