I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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