fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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