yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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