im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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