I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
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STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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