So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
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