I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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