I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize