I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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