Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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