Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
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I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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