I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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