I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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