exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
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My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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