my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize