you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
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I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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