So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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