Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr

(269): View more from Michigan

Wat???

(312): View more from Illinois

U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender

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(312): I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr (269): Wat??? (312): U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender http://tfl.nu/fak1

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(416): View more from Ontario

Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.

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(416): Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins. http://tfl.nu/wh0f

Replies (23) Good night (2880) Bad night (564)
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(415): View more from California

I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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(415): I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys. http://tfl.nu/rxe7

Replies (14) Good night (2380) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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(502): View more from Kentucky

oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.

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(502): oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us. http://tfl.nu/ayu5

Replies (84) Good night (848) Bad night (4483) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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(516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns

Replies (27) Good night (1224) Bad night (5554) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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(631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr

Replies (21) Good night (883) Bad night (8340) Order T-Shirt
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(213): View more from California

Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

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(213): Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch http://tfl.nu/21eo

Replies (8) Good night (2173) Bad night (626)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.

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(603): He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing. http://tfl.nu/abhc

Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1351)
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(512): View more from Texas

Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own

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(512): Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own http://tfl.nu/8nr0

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??

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(701): She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that?? http://tfl.nu/2mxl

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(970): View more from Colorado

Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.

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(970): Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine. http://tfl.nu/g50l

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(503): View more from Oregon

How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?

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(503): How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor? http://tfl.nu/eg7j

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(818): View more from California

I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.

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(818): I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car. http://tfl.nu/zey7

Replies (11) Good night (325) Bad night (1057)
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(830): View more from Texas

I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time

(830): View more from Texas

well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from

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(830): I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time (830): well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from http://tfl.nu/l1gr

Replies (8) Good night (1140) Bad night (242)
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(431): View more from

Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.

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(431): Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches. http://tfl.nu/58c6

Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (156)

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