we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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