im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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