I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize