I'd wear matching sweaters with you
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize