I want to walk on stilts...naked
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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