omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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