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trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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