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omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Randomize
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