theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize