i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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