Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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