Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize