i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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