so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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