Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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